Do you know someone who consistently rubs people the wrong way? You know who I’m talking about: the people who don’t just disagree with others, but who are also disagreeable when they do it!
Ben Franklin taught me a great lesson in his autobiography about how to be a more agreeable person. In this brief video, I share Ben’s lesson, a couple of tips you can put to use immediately, and even a simple group activity you can try in your next company meeting.
Action Steps:
- Watch this video and ask yourself: “Do I speak in terms of ‘absolutes’ when I share my opinion or give feedback to others?”
- The next time you share your opinion or give feedback, try using softening words like perhaps, could be, or maybe.
- The next time you share your opinion, try following with a question to learn the other person’s perspective.
- In an upcoming group meeting, practice the Ben Franklin exercise:
- Take turns in a circle
- Say something obvious to the next person, but use softening words or a question (i.e. “It seems to me that you’re wearing a gray shirt today.”)
- Share your perspective or ask questions on this page
Principles to Learn:
- When you share your opinion in terms of absolute, forceful language, it makes people less likely to listen to you and view you as a friend.
- By sharing your opinion using softening words, you let the other person interpret for themselves and consider your perspective.
- By following your opinion with a question asking others theirs, you tell them that you value their perspective and you’re open to what they have to say.
- Softening words and questions keep discussions on a positive, constructive tone.
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